- From an early age, a parent or authority figure acts as a mentor and provides a model to follow
- In junior high, we had peer facilitators – high school students that helped orient the new junior high students for a whole year – give them mentoring and a model to follow
- In college, if you are in a fraternity or sorority, you have a big brother or big sister that shows you the ropes.
- In grad school, you have a guide for your thesis or a chief resident, etc.
- When you have your first child, there is a lactation specialist that helps the mom with nursing.
GOINT OUT ON A LIMB
So if mentoring is built in at the different life stages above, why not for the transition into marriage. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that having a marriage mentor that helps shape the course of your marriage and therefore your family and therefore the generations through your life might be of greater value than having a mentor for a fraternity or sorority.
Every spiritual leader that I can think of has emphasized to me the importance of always having a mentor figure in their life. Some people will put time and money and energy into making sure they can go spend time with that person just for their own personal health and development.
But I know far fewer people who have the same type of mentoring or modeling for their marriage.
Christy and I have had the benefit of having parents who have remained married throughout their life; this has provided priceless mentoring and modeling. In addition to our parents, we have had different couples along the way who have invested in our marriage. Some of these we have sought out, others we have been in a situation to organically be involved in their lives.
Either way, the key component has been having the mentoring and modeling, along with implementation of what we learn.
If you are interested in benefiting from the mentoring and modeling that another marriage can provide, here is what to do:
- Pray with your spouse. Together, specifically ask God to provide this for your marriage.
- After you pray, Identity 1-3 couples at the next stage of life. For example, if you are married with no kids, consider a married couple with kids.
- Make the ask and be specific. For example, you might ask: I want to meet with y’all once a quarter or twice a year – and stay connected over text and email.
Now it is time to go put this into practice – have a blast doing it!